Email conversation starters for online dating

While I will provide examples it’s best if you ask yourself this question: What’s important to me in a relationship?Whatever you decide is important should be the starting point for the questions you want to ask.Specifically, you should be trying to determine if this is someone you would like to continue to spend time with.Don’t just find a bunch of questions on the internet to ask just so you can “fill the silence”.Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. For the most effective online dating you should be ready to have some effective conversation starters to begin your interaction.This will not only enable you to begin discussions, it will give you material to discuss later on.

But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent. Most will require thought or at least some explanation when answered.Finally, don’t get so obsessed with asking a list of specific questions that you end up putting you’re dating on an “interview”. If it never finds a life of its own then at the very least mix things up so there are some serious questions and some light-hearted ones. If you are serious about finding a relationship you need to decide what’s important to you and base your questions, at least in part, on these areas.

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